In honor of road tripping to Maine next week

Why do people go on road trips? I think we all feel the weight of responsibility and work that we want to escape from from time to time. You see, when you're with your best friends (or your family) on the open road and God's creation as your companion, there is a sense of freedom you feel that exists in no other place but after this life. We all want to be free and experience life like that, but most will not because of the busyness of life and priorities that will glue us to our seats. However, some will find a way... (*This is an excerpt from a road trip documentary I made while in college about 5 friends who head out West on a journey of discovery.)

This time I am headed to Maine and Acadia National Park with a couple friends to camp, shoot the stars, and maybe even see the Northern Lights. Will post my findings when I return!

On Being a Father

       I'm not a very emotional person. When I found out I was going to be a father, I didn't react much. I just knew it was time to buckle down and take another step toward maturity. Part of me fought the idea, only revealing my selfishness and the need to die to myself and grow up. I mean, I had always really wanted kids but when you are actually on the path to becoming a parent, reality sets in. For the most part, no more late nights with friends. No more going to the movies all the time. No more two-week long road trips. It seemed like countless people told me that when I saw my child (or held him) for the first time, I would be overwhelmed with love and affection for this tiny person. So, when my son Emory was born I waited for these feelings but they never really came. I loved him because I was choosing to and I did my best to take care of him and protect him but it felt mostly out of obligation. Honestly, the first thought that came to my head when I saw my son was, "Who's kid is this?" Maybe that was just because he had a ton of dark brown hair and looked like a hot mess (I don't know). I know this may sound heartless but it's just the truth. I confessed these feelings to my wife, Liesl, a few weeks later and surprisingly she revealed she had felt kind of the same way after we left the hospital. A sigh of relief came over both of us. We jokingly shared with one another how much we loved Emory on a scale of one to ten (Sorry. Not going to give you our responses. I know you're already judging me!). After talking about it, I remembered that Liesl and I had fallen in love slowly; it wasn't love at first sight for us. It took time for our love to grow and mature, making it all the more rich and deep I believe. I know children are different but maybe this was similar and just part of the way God wired us. Over time, however, our affection for Emory grew (Liesl's a little faster than mine). Each week that passed, my scale was getting closer to ten (Stop judging!). 

       Even though I have always loved my son, it's nice to have the feelings that go along with it now (I get to spend half of each day with him, too! He is constantly making me smile and laugh). Ultimately, though, love is a choice. Feelings come and go. Affections can change. But when you commit to a spouse and your future children, you become a picture of how God sees us and loves us. That's why loving your family is so important. We are an open letter to the world. 

       I love the verse from Zephaniah 3:17 that says, "The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing" (ESV). Just as we rock our children to sleep at night or pray over them or sing to them, so our heavenly Father does for each of us. And He loves our children more than we ever could. But as a father, I am a picture of what my children will believe about God (at least in part). There are holes in my love, as I have revealed, but our Father's love is perfect. And no matter what we do, He loves us ten out of ten every time. As messed up as the world we are living in right now is (and we can't protect our children from everything), we must seek to love our children as best we can the way God loves us. I desperately want my children to believe God is loving. What better gift can I give them? All for now.

Blessings,

Kyle

*I recently put together a short video highlighting Emory's life thus far. Our second son will be due mid-October. I guess I will have alot more filming to do. Enjoy!

Jacob: A Story of Transformation

      
           My uncle once asked me if I had ever seen someone’s life completely change because of a relationship with Jesus. After thinking about it for a bit, I realized that, yes, I knew of people like this but not really anyone I was close to. Or most Christians I knew had become one when they were younger. All of that changed, however, when I met Jacob.

            Jacob was your typical high school kid. He liked girls. He played sports. He went to church. But he was also very shy and quiet. He would come to youth group on occasion where I was youth pastor and even attended a winter ski retreat once. He seemed like a good guy but I could barely pry two words out of his mouth so I didn’t really have any sense of where he was on his faith journey. One day when the youth group was serving at a homeless shelter, I got a call from Jacob saying he wanted to join us. Before that I hadn’t heard from him in a few months. For some reason that day he seemed different. He was more outgoing; he played with the kids, and helped with yard work. Something in him was changing. Little did I know, God was already beginning a work in him.

            That summer I was planning on taking the youth to a beach camp. I had invited Jacob but it seemed unlikely he could go because of summer lacrosse commitments. I gave up asking him until I found out he had sustained a sports injury and wouldn’t be doing any running for a while. After much urging from his mother and I, we finally convinced him to go. He seemed happy enough about it but was skeptical of the coming experience. His skepticism of the camp was confirmed when we arrived. The leaders and counselors were way too crazy and happy for him. He and Rama joked together, “Looks like this week was a waste of $260!” But they soon realized this was more than a bunch of people with a case of Buddy the Elf syndrome. These people had real joy. Real love. And they wanted to share it with everyone.

            The week was full of sessions that included music, live drama, and challenges from God’s Word. It didn’t take long for Jacob to feel the need for a real relationship with Jesus. He went forward immediately after the first session to be prayed for and begin his journey of following Jesus. The conviction was palatable as he shared with me everything God was telling him, tears streaming down his face. Jacob was completely letting go of his old life and wholeheartedly embracing the new. He was dying to himself and it was painful but it was the only way to truly follow Jesus and live.

            Throughout the week, our youth group met each night to share what was going on with one another. Jacob’s openness and honesty with the rest of the group helped create a safe environment for others to share. The Holy Spirit was definitely on the move among our group as one after the other shared what God was doing in them and the need for change to take place. Confession and tears followed by many hugs was the norm that week. You cannot recreate that kind of environment again in hopes of sparking a revival. The Spirit must be on the move and people must be willing to do whatever it is God is leading them to. No deals. No excuses. Just total surrender.

            As a youth pastor, I have often wondered when a student has had a profound spiritual experience at a camp or on a mission trip, if it will really stick or not. Just like Jesus’ parable of the sower, was this seed in Jacob’s life planted in good soil? When we returned home, Jacob seemed like a completely different person. At youth group, he no longer just talked to his friends, but to everybody. He started hugging everyone too and telling them God loved them. Before long, others followed suit and we became one of those “hugging youth groups.” He invited his friends to church and established a wider influence with kids at school. He began having a heart for the down and out, and the lonely. He started reaching out to homeless people, as well. He decided to pick up the guitar and begin learning worship songs so he could help lead music. He got baptized. He would read the Bible and pray for long periods of time and then discuss specific verses with me that needed clarification. He was directly involved with other students coming to Christ, having an eternal impact. When others shared testimonies at youth group or at a baptism service, Jacob’s name would get brought up more and more as someone who had an influence on them. We began a discipleship group for high school guys of which Jacob was a part and would help lead. He began going on mission trips and growth continued. When he struggled with things, he confessed them and sought accountability. When he had doubts, he dug deeper into God’s Word and kept praying and believing. I share all these things not to exalt Jacob as a spiritual hero but to show what God can do with one person who is truly following Christ. He didn’t make a plan about how he would follow God someday “later in life,” nor did he make excuses for the here and now. He simply sought after God upon leaving that summer camp and didn’t look back.

            Jacob is one of the most humble people I know. He wouldn’t say any of these things about himself and that’s why I’m doing it. He went from being one of the shyest and most reserved people I’ve ever met to one of the most outgoing I’ve ever met. Any psychology class will tell you that a person’s personality does not really change like that. How is that possible without Jesus? He is a disciple through and through and he is helping others to become disciples too.

           
            Jacob is now a sophomore at Liberty University. He continues to lead worship for youth and is helping teach a college-age Bible study. He prays with people on the spot if they are in need. He is actively seeking what direction God wishes to take his life. The most recent description someone shared with me about Jacob is this: “He is just like a little Jesus,” they said. These are profound words. When was the last time you or I were described in this way? May we all seek to become like a little Jesus.

Blessings,

Kyle

The Lion of Judah (or Theology with Thirteen-Year Olds)

          
            The lion roared from the other side of the giant roll-up door…“Reese, Jesus is the Lion of Judah. Today is the day of salvation!” I exclaimed… A roaring lion doesn’t usually bring comfort, but in this case it did.

            A little over a year ago I had the opportunity to take a group of around 40 students on a winter retreat conference. With that many middle and high school students, a trip is never without its drama but God had some things to teach and reveal to me that weekend as well as the students. In ministry, I think we sometimes get this notion (sadly enough) that God is working miraculously in other places but not so much with us. When we hear stories of awesome things happening at “my” church or in other parts of the world, we can become encouraged yet discouraged at the same time. But in the midst of counting heads, enforcing curfew, and bussing kids around, God was up to something.

            On the second night after the conference was over when all the kids were exercising their free time, I was surprised to find one group of mostly middle school boys, and one or two high schoolers, having a serious discussion in their room. Now when most guys this age have discussions, it usually consists of (but is not limited to) Minecraft strategy, the zombie apocalypse, or the latest video game. I mean, I had literally just walked out of my own room of middle schoolers who were getting ready to play a game of  “zombies in the dark” (whatever that was). But this other group of guys was in the midst of something deep. I came in and sat on the edge of the couch as the discussion continued unhindered. Apparently God had been speaking to Reese throughout the weekend about a relationship with Him. Reese wasn’t interested in just jumping into something without having thought it through long and hard. I didn’t know Reese very well because he was just friends with some of our regular attendees. This was only the second time I had met him. I realized in just a short time though, that even as a 13 year old, this kid was incredibly deep and contemplative. So, what was this whole discussion about? Basically Reese had been asking questions about God, a relationship with Jesus, and living the Christian life while one by one these other guys took turns answering him. And let me tell you, these were not your typical middle school answers. These were solid, Biblical ones. Granted, I might have explained things in a little bit different way but the beautiful thing about the whole discussion is that I really didn’t have to. As Christians, we believe we have the Holy Spirit of God residing in each of us, speaking in us, to us, and through us, no matter the age. I sat there for nearly an hour with a subtle grin on my face, never uttering a word. This theological discussion with mostly 13 years olds wasn’t started or finished by me, and I was the youth pastor.

            The next morning, we attended our last session of the conference. The speaker shared an incredible message and asked if anyone was interested in having a relationship with Christ. Reese, along with many others went forward. Myself and a couple other older youth guys joined him as we filed toward a back room to talk with him about it. We found a place to stand next to a large garage-type door among all the people. Reese had thought and prayed more over his decision since last night and seemed as if he was ready to take that first step in following Jesus. He then verbalized his desire to have a relationship with God to the three of us. As soon as he did this however, something strange and awesome happened that I’ll never forget. A lion began to roar…literally.

            Now before you think I’m some kind of crazy, let me explain. At the Smoky Mountain Opry Theater where the conference was, there were exotic animals backstage that weekend for some reason. My guess is it was for some show the following week or were being temporarily held there because of the large space. Some of the staff had made a few jokes about it during the weekend but that’s what everyone though it was, a joke. So, now that you have a sense of our setting, let’s get back to the story.

            The lion roared from the other side of the giant roll-up door. We all looked at each other in disbelief and with furrowed brows. I broke the silence with an epiphany. “Reese, Jesus is the Lion of Judah. Today is the day of salvation!” I exclaimed. If you have ever heard a lion roar it is somewhat terrifying but also powerful and awesome. A roaring lion doesn’t usually bring comfort, but in this case it did. After taking in the beautiful symbolic realization of that moment, we gathered around Reese and each prayed for him and then he prayed and asked Christ to lead his life. And as soon as he said “Amen”, our lion friend gave another roar of approval. It was perfect. It was beautiful. It was seemingly miraculous. We all hugged Reese and welcomed him into our family. Just then the side door a few feet away swung open but there was no one there. I swear my heart skipped a beat. Okay, so it was probably just the wind and the room was a bit breezy but it did give me goose bumps I’m not going to lie. We all looked back at each other and just smiled. We simply knew the presence of God was with us.

           

            Reese has since been baptized and is involved at a local church. Rama and Jacob were also a part of Reese’s conversion experience that day but had only been Christians for a little over a year before that. Reese had expressed his desire for Jacob to be there with him that day because he had seen how real Jacob’s faith was to himself. If someone’s faith was that real, then it must be true he thought. I hope to tell Jacob’s amazing story of transformation in a later post.

All for now. Many blessings,

Kyle

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. –CS Lewis

        
           The vast expanse of the universe has always enthralled me. The starry hosts of heaven shining down as I gaze up. I have always loved the stars. And the heavens constantly remind me of something not yet experienced; like going home yet never having been there.

            In this life, I believe we sometimes receive a glimpse of the world to come. And I refuse to believe I am here because the world made itself. If we came from nothing then there would be no meaning. And there is nothing in this universe that creates itself from nothing. Rational philosophy tells us, ex nihilo nihil fit (“Out of nothing, nothing comes”). So everything must come from something else. Which begs the question, how could one even find a meaningful life in a meaningless universe? To quote Lewis again: If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning.

            I believe we are all searching for something, but do we know it’s God we’re looking for? Because of creation and revelation, there can be nowhere God is not. If we do not believe, it is because we choose not to. So we must choose to believe. 

            I have never been much of a writer, but I am beginning a blog to get my thoughts out there in this transitional phase of my life. I hope to write on all kinds of topics ranging from philosophy, God, the church, ministry and missions to just sharing stories about life, people and the miraculous. I also enjoy photography and filmmaking so keep on the lookout for my latest stuff. Thanks for reading.

Many blessings,

Kyle

Last night in Galilee

Second to last day

Today we explored many of the surrounding villages of Galilee where much of Jesus' ministry took place. Some are pictured but others included Bethsaida and Chorazin.


View from the Mount of Beatitudes outside the church (starting in Matt. 5)


One of the main regions of Jesus' earthly ministry and hometown to several of his disciples.


Mollie, Liesl's cousin, wanted to be baptized in the Jordan but the Sea of Galilee worked out better and it's connected to the Jordan anyway so it counts!